Thin midwest skin...

Running onto the subway with my backpack, fanny pack, and tote bag stuffed to the brim, I can feel the stares of disgust...

Nose deep into my phone to figure out where the hell I am upon exiting the train, I can hear the scoffs of pity...

Crying to my mother that my coffee cost $6 through my airpods as I walk down the street, I can see the eye rolls of all that pass by...

Yes. You guessed it! I am NOT a REAL New Yorker. (At least not YET anyway...)

I have been here for exactly one month as I write this, and I am still scared shitless (and yes I am sure everyone I interact with can smell it - I reek).

Chatting with a co-worker at lunch recently, she made a point to note that it was "obvious" I was "too nice" and that the city would toughen me up soon. This comment made me incredibly insecure and considering I quit this job two days later, I had plenty of time to attempt to dissect this interaction.

Does being kind make me less attractive to people in this city?

Is it considered annoying to be overly friendly to strangers?

Do people think less of me because I do not put myself in the center of every situation?

I am not saying that New Yorkers are evil robots who only worry about how to get themselves ahead. But the questions I have asked all highlight things about my personality that I have never felt insecure about until moving.

But I've come to this very basic and underwhelming conclusion: you can take the girl out of the midwest, but you can't take the midwest out of the girl.

I like being happy and kind and polite, so that's what I will do! And if someone decides to take advantage of me and my thin midwest skin...

I'll cry a little, buy that $6 coffee, and keep pushing on!

a girl who says "ope",

coco